The goal I’ve always had with a new location is to make deep roots in the community. I’ve always enjoyed the notion that I could be in the know of what’s happening that I can get behind and be active in. In Seattle I would go to so many music shows and find whatever kind of clubs that would take me at the University of Washington. In Gainesville, I did the same, but it was even more helpful to have great friends that had a pulse on the alternative and punk scenes.

But for something like Seattle, I found little satisfaction with the music scene. You can go and enjoy the music, but my personality held me back from finding anything more than that. It was simply a photo on Instagram, nothing else. And for Gainesville, one-off volunteering gigs would allow me to expand my horizons but nothing could stick. I enjoy speaking with so many people, but I am certainly not the one to follow-up with a “hey, do you want to go hang out in [FUTURE TIME X]?”

I will be in Austin for at least a year, and I know that two, not even three years would get me well integrated into the community. At least past results have pointed to these strong trepidations. And just as things were getting great, I need to leave, and then start over again.

There are also some timing issues with most cities that I go to: I see the colorful past of these cities in broken down and abandoned buildings, where such great scenes lived and died, and then I am surrounded by individuals that say that the city in question is no long “what is used to be”. Gentrification and artistic stagnation reign, despite the promises from local newspapers and magazines and Facebook communities.

I want to be wrong about this. I want to find my slice of society within Austin, Texas — this discovery of the hidden, beyond the internet, beyond event schedules. The pessimism of modern culture has caused individual impotence; it is the sharing of ideas that make something larger! And for so many years I’ve searched for partners to make this “Larger”, to collaborate with others and forget myself for moments as I set up the framework for greatness. For now, Austin must be my ticket to my grand goals; I am here, I must make the city what I want.

What are the solutions? Start from the most shallow waters: look for the groups related to my essential nature: that is, music, the written arts, the outdoors. But then I have to go one step further. I am not connected to others via the outdoors but via one’s conception of it. Perhaps a Thoreau-ian ideal or Herzog-ified awe of the Texan desert. And for music: I don’t like music I like the artists and sounds that are classified under that most generic of art genres! How can one connect by staring at a stage? No, I must create music to solidify myself into a scene. I must create to connect.

Walnut Creek Metropolitan Park. Taken 180520

I re-subscribed to Spotify, which has a much more effective workflow for discovering great footwork / juke tracks from past and present. The key: Spotify notifies that you’re adding duplicates into a playlist, and will allow to you skip them. So I add any and all footwork-related tracks into one playlist, hit shuffle, add the tracks I like into a filtered playlist. Even better: on each track that I like, I go to “go to album” and add the whole album to the megaplaylist.

Lo and behold, I skip the duplicates again and continue shuffling. I’m approaching 600 tracks so far – I don’t want to just blindly add everything until I’m comfortable enough having discovered some good stuff from the start. By the time my filtered playlist hits 100-150, I’ll reshuffle that playlist and make an even more filtered one. Then maybe I can start cataloguing these sounds into more specific genres — most likely names proprietary to my tastes.

Anyway, what releases have come to Bandcamp and Soundcloud the past couple weeks that are either big names or great sounds? Let’s get into it:

DJ Manny – 8th In A Wood

Released May 4th, 2018.

Manny released one of my top footwork albums last year, Greenlight. Where I first thought that its dance — a.k.a not footwork — orientation was cold but inspired, I may have just been taken aback by its self-sampling and un-jukey sound. It grew on me so much that it was a repeat listen — over and over and over and over — and became the centerpiece of my running playlist.

BackWood is most reminiscent to the previous album, with those ambling synth sounds that repeat with the vocals. But Manny does best when he mixes in the frenetic mid-bass beats of footwork with atmospheric synths — Maze Runner is the best example of this type of sound.

EQ Why & Traxman – WhyTrax

Released April 10th, 2018.

EQ Why has only been on my radar the past few months, while Traxman has been on my mind since the beginning of discovering the genre. I’ve always associated Traxman on the “warm” side of footwork, with classic 70s funk sampling and that mid-bass lightness that may be opposed to something like DJ Tre. Last year, the producer released TEKVISION, which had a hugely diverse range of sounds but all with an energy that only Traxman can provide — listen to Drop It Down for what I think is a quintessential Traxman sound — a pattern I could think of is the juke-heavy clap and bass drum which has been hugely reduced in the past couple years since the new Teklife stars have grown.

EQ Why is not juke, but wholly within the footwork camp. Heavy on long pitched-sample patterns and analogy synth sounds, there are more atmospherics than dance on many tracks. Some comparisons could be made with DJ Nate sounds and the alienation inherent in those kinds of pitching dynamics.

Together, I hear mostly Why’s influences, with a few of Traxman signature sounds — especially some atonal sampling like in Jack Jack Jack, or incessant sample-mashing like in Pump Dat Jam — which leads to comparisons with Da Mind of Traxman.

LOS – Who Am I

Released May 18th, 2018.
Released May 18th, 2018.

I had been limited to Teklife characters for a couple years while being ignorantly unaware of just about everyone part of Juke Bounce Werk (JBW). LOS was the first of the collective for me to hear, and I was pretty impressed with his work, but I was more quickly enamored with the likes of Kush Jones or Swisha. But LOS has a solidity to his work that best seem suited for a larger album — an extended atmosphere rather than one enrapturing work. Who Am I adds to this oeuvre of album-enhancing theatrics, low-key and ready to pass the torch onto the next track (you can see that from the end, where it cuts off — most likely for something else).

I’ll limit it to three items so far – don’t want to create an extensive essay or anything. I’ll start more actively looking for stuff that I like so I can share even more!

Since 2010, I have dabbled in various aspects of computer technology; I built PCs from scratch, engrossed myself in the basics web dev files, or deployed small Raspberry Pi servers for storage or computation. It was always a wonder why I couldn’t tie these features together: I could understand the 101 of programming, of hardware and software architectures, and dealing with the funnels and tunnels of internet-based applications, but I did not know how to make a program, a self-contained block of code that could do something unique for myself. I was a scriptmonkey, which had its own delights and challenges, but nothing compared to the rigors of creating an application.

Over and over again I would start the education process over again, attempting to seek the one key that would “tie it all together”, but it never clicked. What was missing?

Rigor had much to do with the issue. I am one that loved to learn, to bask in theory and implement architecture as thought — but not as product. The dirty little details of gluing together several useful scripts together escaped me not because I wasn’t being taught the process, but because my personality simply didn’t warrant my mind the allocation of resources to think about it. So I hovered in the high-levels, of REST architectures and JavaScript 101s and articles about the differences between new and old languages. The discovery and wonder never ceased — I am an ignorant fool with just enough knowledge to be impressed but never involved.

The services I have provided to clients reflect these subconscious values. My output has been guidance at strategic or tactical levels, but the technical always fell short. I was a glue between directors and programmers, but not between program modules. Is this a curse or the benefit of specialization? I hate not getting every iota of knowledge out of the topics I love, growing up believing that love was complete understanding — feeling out problems on an empathetic level, not just sympathetic.

The question I have for the future: embrace my weakness, grow stronger in what has benefitted from focus, or pinpoint these issues and direct my energies on mitigating my shortcomings?

One could incorrectly surmise that the audio medium has hit cultural lows as its monetary value spirals to zero. Instead music has profoundly grown in importance – as a marker for personal identity. No other art form could attain such a status: there are no more political movements (in its most unpolitical definition) in the name of paintings or statues; populist movies are reduced to products of entertainment, inciting nothing but inane discourse on fantasy. Music burns at the heart, riles people into moving in fantastic and cruel ways, attacking naysayers and reveling within their in-groups. It is not surprising that movie prices will rocket as music becomes more convenient to access, freer — it will always be the eternal, priceless, art, where visual mediums pass on as trite affairs, begging its audiences to delight in repetitive Image-Effects.

How could capitalism contain the music form? Its major advantage is light feet: a musician could meld three or more genres at once, play a single note, remix existing tracks – there is no end to music’s destruction and resulting construction; how could a monetary system that survives in the obfuscation of arbitrary value continue to surround a form that wholly deals in arbitrariness? Music at its most essential is madness incarnate, illogical, and wholly aesthetic. Music is immoral, relishing in beauties that may not be discovered in decades or centuries or millennia, only to be appreciated once another individual has “progressed” or even “regressed” enough — or “moved left”?

Capitalism was successful with music when it could in fact obscure its pricelessness: the days of consolidated production and dissemination, when there was even price to creating something that would be heard — yet this era of physically recorded music was simply a subsection of the entire experience, the consumer subsection. My readers should understand that by tackling the subject of music in the 20th century, where consumption was determined by several companies dedicated to recording, mastering, manufacturing, marketing, and selling of music, I am trapping within the high walls of capitalist/anti-capitalist discourse. Remember my friends: what is visible may not be what is true. Just as the myth of the “successful”, money-making musician pervaded the 20th and 21st centuries – so did the myth of un-success: the decrepit group with no single recorded song, traveling through the United States without one producer discovering them.

And lo and behold capitalist music, conveniently discovered and recorded and mastered and manufactured and marketed and sold to the consuming individual – but did you miss it? Unlike the Marxists and the anti-capitalists, I do not understand all modern music as a product of this mode of production, but I have relegated the phenomenon as just a small slice of the entire pie. The myth that both the capitalists and their “antis” maintained was that the music “industry” solely consisted of that which is “visible” to the public at large. How myopic, how shortsighted, how fearful it must be to think that music could be confined to an economic system — a system not apart of human nature, even when anti-capitalists say it is! For those that have taken the opposite of capitalism are merely working within its confines for negation – I have negated both and have found capitalist music to be such a small part of the whole experience!

How fearful it must be! And how frightful for anti-capitalists to discover that their efforts were so small, for their adversary determines so little of music and culture at large — that they have swum among shallow waters and ignored the darker depths of greater self-honesty. At times that which is discussed does not exist — but does it occur to these people that topics not discussed – may indeed exist? The “unknown unknown”, as Donald Rumsfeld said; that which is still “invisible”, murky, cold, and unfamiliar. May the anti-capitalist look away from the honesty of the world outside of Capitalism!

Then let us be honest: “visible” music resides in a digitized ocean froth carried around via fiber wire and radio waves and copper cables. And let us be honest that the “invisible” may choose to piggyback on the Information Age’s technological currents, but may also — more commonly, choose  — the air between musicians and their appreciators. Live, local shows, “invisible” openers for “visible” bands, attended by invisible friends, family, and supporters; invisible communications at parties and gatherings, discussing new ideas for music and rejection of the old; invisible house shows at which audiences can discover a new sound while supporting their own. The death in the public space may be attributed to Capitalism – but has it been attributed to the private passions of individuals for their arts?

Human nature may have been visibly drawn to the convenience of Capitalist products, with music included. Capitalist music is a drop in the bucket compared to an art tradition forged over tens of thousands of years. The vanity of economic skeptics! To think that they could own a part of human nature -—rhythm and melody — and to think that one would have to resist those that were supposedly in control!

Choices were refreshingly narrow during my work with AmeriCorps. I only had to think about getting out of bed, navigating my team’s issues, doing grunt labor for FEMA, and finding something to do after work. My chores had to do with relationships  — for as complex as the human psyche is, at least my shovel only had one direction to dig. Now the shovel has split since the program has ended, and I will continue working with FEMA as a writer for their “self-improvement” program. A dream job for the productivity-minded in me, but the end result of submitting improvements into the abyss of U.S. bureaucracy is existentially questionable at best.

So I must turn inward as I seek direction in the short-term. My creativity must also be destructive for caution of stony corners. The world is so wide, and the walls are so tall, and I must only go the way I have destined myself to. But it is so easy to wallow in complacency; that is why my heart flutters, as comfortability in long bursts weakens the soul and I must reflect on what muscles have withered and which have strengthened. I am 24 years old and with so many possibilities brought about by opportunism and privilege and luck and outlook. If I see the end already, I must have done something terribly wrong.

Fortunately, I see no end but a beginning. So let’s begin!


I have for so long wanted to bury myself with a pen and paper, but the computer is the tool for the future. My approaches to philosophy have hit bedrock — I need to look far and wide for bits of knowledge that perk the ears and bring new insights to how one becomes what they are.

Machine Learning – Natural Language Processing (NLP)

How fascinating that an algorithm can now be trained! It learns to improve its given task —  the key to understanding human interaction and communication is learning how one expresses themselves. Natural language Processing began with a very utilitarian purpose: to determine sentiment out of sentences. This allows media companies like Facebook and Amazon to understand the ins and outs of the consumer.  Product reviews, political statements — all will enable natural language processors to predict behaviors of consumers and place advertisements or create whole products that will satisfy them.

But the subject as consumer is but one approach to utilizing NLP. Can we utilize these processors to help us understand ourselves as learners, as intellectual bodies? Already algorithms have insights into how short and long-term memories help contextualize the meanings of words and sentences. Can these breakthroughs be used to understand how one can improve themselves, or possibly augment themselves into something different? So many questions! The answers will arrive as statisticians and mathematicians and programmers band together to create algorithms that will push the qualitative sciences further than they ever have: the archaeologists and anthropologists of the future will laugh at the second-hand ways their progenitors felt for conclusions.

Music Production — Footwork and Dance Genres

I’ve spent years dabbling in music production, utilizing tools like iPad apps and Logic Pro X to compose pieces that seemed larger than the tidbits I added within them. The future of music is transcending economic value and that’s where pure alienated creativity can enter. Uncaring about marketability, likability, accessibility; the future artist will develop works unto themselves. The modern art market has already moved into this unintelligibility — and look at how the common people sneer! They look back toward classical ages for their validated art, willingly contorting for the aristocracies and bourgeois that determined what is artful. Thus the individual creator can produce in peace, unbounded by the common and mundane and attract only the cows that wish to look from the ground.

Philosophy and China

Perhaps my goals are to pre-empting the rolling of the ball, looking for what the future will hold for those untimely ones. The present is unendingly fascinating as it overcomes itself. These skills I want to build are to enhance what I have right now, to augment myself into a hybrid of my contemporary and futuristic natures. Perhaps my goals will lead me astray, into the dead-ends that I for so long have dreaded. But that is why I focus on destructive forces, not just creative! To say Yes is to say many small No’s, and I will continue to transform my Yeses based on glistening principles, water-like and ready to flow uphill in any size or shape.

China has become my second-greatest uphill struggle. For I must recognize a national externality of myself in order to appreciate the strengths that the country represents, as some of those strengths are hitherto considered not only weaknesses but evils to Western society, and especially American. And there I find my largest obstacle to overcome, to bridge Western and — not Eastern, but — Chinese thought into the future of international relations. For the philosophy of the future is more than internationalist, it is a globalist beyond the hollow word it is now. It is an immoral, ecstatic globalism that I am predicting, and with countries like China to embrace. But there are so many obstacles that will allow this reality to become; so I must read further into the China question, for it is not the nation that is important, but its philosophy, which has hints of an unheard of futurism, and I want to capture this.


Three pillars of thought: scientific and technological, creative and destructive, philosophical and international. For 2018, these are the themes I want to better understand, the themes I want to tie into one larger framework that I will keep to myself but unleash bits of as time passes. My present is captivating, with so many actors on the stage, with entertainments beyond what Hollywood could provide. The future is thus no less engrossing, and that is where we immoralists, globalists, ecstaticists will thrive — a narrative beyond survival or existence but of excess — in knowledge, manipulation, and self-discovery.

Richard Howard is receiving a Paris Review lifetime-achievement award

In celebration of Richard Howard’s upcoming award, the Hadada, The Paris Review brought together the thoughts of fellow poets and past students:

American poetry has almost always been forward-looking. But Richard is looking, thinking backward. He made himself up under the European wing of American literature. – Mary Jo Bang (poet, former student)

I’ve been aware of Richard Howard solely as the de facto translator of philosopher and literature critic Roland Barthes, who has been hugely influential on my life and work for several years now. Howard’s updated translation of Mythologies was the voice with which I was introduced to Barthes. Soon after I read Camera Lucida and the self-titled Roland Barthes I could almost picture the author sitting next to me as he ruminates over flittering topics and small pleasures. There is a warmth in the voice, a sincere curl in the lips, and an all-inclusive introversion that gives so much muted emotion but never enough for someone to let go with full satisfaction.

I take for granted the role of the translator – that Barthes’ English voice may be completely alien to his French. Fundamentally, the near God-like power of Howard — perhaps more of a prophet than the deity itself — should mean that I have always had this poet-translator sitting next to me all the time, carefully and patiently detailing the efforts of Barthes, who had died nearly forty years ago. For all the distance that the philosopher had put into his writing, Howard was able to eek out an aura that is only accessed in the mythologies of warmhearted movies of bittersweet loss and narrated journaling.

The comments found in the Paris Review article move me in their nostalgia, but also in their outlining of Richard Howard’s “process” (at least in my eyes) — to translate words is one thing; to translate emotions is on a whole other level. My goal, for now, is to understand Howard’s written voice in his poetry and other translations, and discover which myth — the Philosopher or the Poet — I had really taken to heart.